Thursday, August 22, 2013

On Loneliness: Introduction


I’ve been thinking about writing an essay series on loneliness for a while now. Loneliness is something I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember. It comes and it goes. Being in a relationship and/or having good friends has always been a buffer against it, although not a complete one. Sometimes, in a room full of people, I feel completely alone. Other times, I feel as though my heart could burst with joy because my life is so incredibly full of good people.

My sense of loneliness upon moving to Dallas has been both strong and persistent. Moving to new places and forming new friendships has always been difficult for me. For example, I lived in Portland for more than two years before I felt like I’d made close friends. On Maui it took over a year. Austin was an anomaly; I felt like I made an instant group of friends there. Perhaps that is what has made Dallas seem especially difficult. It’s hard to accept that I have to tap into my reserves of patience and perseverance again.

The decision to blog about it hasn’t been easy though. I’ve never been particularly eager to put my problems on blast. I feel very stoic about it all, if you will. I don’t want to trouble anyone, for goodness’ sake. I don’t want to be anyone’s burden.

But then I thought that maybe talking about it isn’t really about me in the end. Maybe it’s about giving a voice to anyone who’s ever felt lonely. Maybe I have something to say that they’d like to hear, or that they’d like other people to hear.

My other problem with blogging about it is one of organization. I have so much to say. On the other hand, I’m not sure how to say any of it, at least not in a way that’s cohesive or makes sense. So that’s why this is going to be a series, one that has clearly-defined themes for each piece. I believe that the themes will be as follows:

My Upbringing
Broken Friendships
Romance
My Personality
Modern American Society
Conclusions

I may add more themes as I proceed and explore. Consider this first piece to be the introduction or, perhaps, overture (hence the title).

I’m not sure yet where this essay journey is going to take me. Perhaps I will have an epiphany or two. Perhaps I will come up with a plan of action to eliminate loneliness from my life. Or perhaps nothing will come of it, or at least nothing more than a few words on a page.

Regardless, I'm taking the journey. This is your formal invitation to take it with me. Let's see where it goes together.

6 comments:

Cindy M. said...

Looking forward to the series. I try not to think about feeling lonely, but maybe I need to.

Lauren said...

I would love to read what you have to write. I've been feeling lonely too, and have always struggled with it. We should talk more often...I know you don't want to bug me, but I don't want to bug you. We're both dumb. I'd love to talk to you :-)

balyien said...

Thanks, ladies! I'll probably be updating this series slowly, but I will definitely be continuing it.

Patricia said...

You have never seemed more mid-western as in this post, what with not wanting to TROUBLE us with your loneliness. :-)

I'm very much looking forward to this and have a small anticipation that I could write essays in response to your posts. For instance, I have a lot to say about my upbringing and loneliness and I haven't even read what you wrote.

balyien said...

No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to stop being Midwestern. :)

I'm glad you're looking forward to the series. I'm hoping to put the next part up some time this weekend.

HSofia said...

Looking forward to the series!