Golf and Letting Go

We went to the LPGA tournament out at Kapalua Resort today.  It's not something I normally would have been into, but Hubby got the tickets free from work, and I thought it might be interesting to do something new and different.

We decided to take the "back road" there, which goes around the NW corner of the island.  It's a very narrow road - one lane in some places - winding, and barely paved for part of the way.  I love the roads like this that you find here.  The views of the ocean were stunning.  I'm in awe of and perplexed by the people that live out there in these huge homes, totally isolated from other people.  I wonder why they seek such solitude?

One of the things I like about Maui is how it incorporates all these different climates on this one small island.  You have the very jungle-like climate (what I think most people imagine Hawaii to be like), and you have places that are more like the rain forests of the Pacific NW.  There's the beach climate, and areas that are more desert-y.  We discovered a new one today out on that road.  I don't even know what to call it, but I've seen it in pictures.  It was like this mountainous farmland.  Just beautiful.

The tournament itself was actually pretty fun.  I don't know much about golf and typically find it boring.  But I think all sports are better live.  We got to see some of the famous golfers - Annika Sorenstam, Laura Davies, Christy McNichol.  I never realized before how impressive it is, what golfers do.  They hit those balls incredibly far!  The sound was a lot louder than I'd anticipated.

I like it over there in Kapalua.  I wish we were rich so we could live there.

I've been thinking a lot today about letting go.  I've been pretty hung up on Portland and missing it.  I know that my friends back there, and what I knew as my life, are all moving on.  I can feel it happening.  I know that it's something I need to do as well.

I was reflecting on a couple of past break ups I had and how I made myself mix tapes to help me move on.  It might be time to make a "letting go" CD.  I don't know that these things actually help.  But maybe it would help me get "in the mood," so to speak.  I don't think I can fully embrace life in Hawaii until I give up life in Portland.

Island Fever

Before moving to Hawaii, I heard a lot about island fever.  People from the mainland, I was told, rarely last long.  Couple years at most, and then the island fever gets to them, and they move back.  No one ever explained to me what island fever is, though.  And now I wonder if I'm suffering from it.

I find Hawaii very....monotonous.  Everything is always the same.  It starts with the weather.  Sunny and warm every day.  You'd think that anyone would love it, but for some reason it's really getting to me.  I get up every morning, see the sun, and feel depressed.  It's probably not the sun itself.  If I woke up every morning for 3 months and it was cloudy, that would depress me too.  It's the lack of variation.

My days are the same too.  I get up and go to work.  My job is monotonous and boring.  I come home and settle in for the evening.  I watch TV, or I play around on the Internet.  Maybe I read a book.  We usually try to go out and do things on the weekend.  Sometimes we try to do things during the week.  But mostly it's the same thing, day after day.

I know that it's partly my fault.  I need to keep putting myself out there.  I need to keep finding things to do.  And I am trying.  There's just something about monotony and boredom that's very paralyzing.  As much as I want to spice up my life, there is this part of me that is working against myself, for some reason.  I'm afraid of something, although I haven't figured out what that is.

I do want to give Hawaii a fair chance.  Sometimes it feels like things will never get better.  I've always hated making new friends.  I feel like I'm not very good at it.  I know that having some friends would definitely make me feel better, though.  This week has been tough.  But I'm going to get back on the horse and try again.  It's the only thing I can do.

Political Chatter

In general, Hawaii doesn't seem to be a place that's particularly into politics.  Maybe it just seems that way because I came here from Portland, where constant chatter about politics is the norm.  I mean, there are, of course, the requisite political signs in yards here, and supporters waving along the side of the road.  And I have to admit that the debate between the candidates running for mayor of Honolulu that I accidentally caught on TV was one of the most heated and least polite I've ever seen.

But political chat around the water cooler is non-existent.  And people just don't really seem to talk about it in their day-to-day lives.  Maybe it's because I don't really have any friends yet.  I'm used to talking about politics all the time.  At work, with friends, at my volunteer jobs.  So maybe once I make some friends, it will come up in conversation more.  Or maybe not.  Maybe in Portland I was just in a hyper-charged political environment, and now I'm not.

It's not that I mind so much.  It's just weird.  It's different, like everything here.

Although, I suppose that Hawaii has been a liberal, Democratic state for so long that the outcomes of elections don't seem to be in much question.  The Republicans are starting to get a foothold.  I think that's largely due to the fact that they're new and different, after some 50-odd years of Democrats.  But it's not a strong foothold.  There is no question, for example, that Obama will win here.  So really, what is there to talk about?

Last night we went to the movies.  Hubby was wearing his "Mario Luigi '08" t-shirt.  The young lady who sold us our tickets looked at his shirt and said, "I'd vote for them."  We chuckled and she added, "Anybody would be better than McCain."  We chuckled again and moved on.

When I thought about it later, I found it interesting that she felt comfortable enough to share her opinion openly like that.    I wonder how much of it was due to Hawaii's inherent liberalness.  Or maybe we just don't look like McCain voters.  Whatever it was, it was nice to hear someone's opinion.

The Big Island

I went to the Big Island for one day this past weekend to visit a friend.  It's a fascinating place, very different from Maui - or at least, very different from where I live on Maui.

I was outside of Hilo, in an area that was very jungle-like.  It was fascinating, this completely foreign world.  It reminded me of Vietnam War movies.  The plants grow huge there.  I thought of my small, potted hibiscus plants on the balcony at home and tried to reconcile that vision with the fist-sized hibiscus I saw growing outside of the place where we stopped for smoothies.

On our walk out to Akaka Falls, I saw many flowers that looked like they were from some alien planet.  Honestly, I just couldn't get over it.  I'm Michigan born and bred, and have never lived in any other climate that's much different from that until now.  While I have often been chided by my friends for a lack of love for the outdoors, it's not that I don't appreciate them.  I just like my creature comforts.  I am awed by the beauty of this earth, though.  I don't know how anyone could not be moved by the wonders of Hawaii.

When I went to bed, there was a gecko on the wall.  Now, I've seen geckos outside of houses on Maui.  I've even heard them in my office.  But I've never seen them inside.  I have to admit that I was pretty freaked out by it.  I hate creepy crawlies, mostly for two reasons:  I can't stand the way they "scuttle" and I hate the thought that they might be crawling on me while I'm sleeping.  I realize that geckos aren't creepy crawlies, but it did scuttle when it realized I saw it, and that's what freaked me out.  I'm sure it found a safe place to hide as soon as I turned out the light.  Later, in the morning, I was ashamed, and wished that I had taken a picture of it.

As I left, the air on the Big Island was hazy from the vog of an erupting volcano ("vog" is the local term for fog-like conditions created by volcanic ash).  It was clear when I landed on Maui, but the vog rolled in later in the afternoon, the thickest I've seen it yet.  Our view of the valley below and the mountain beyond it was completely obliterated.  The vog stayed through this morning, when I took an eerie, blurry picture of the sun.

I really liked the Big Island and hope that I can go back some time for more exploration.  So far, though, I'm glad that we ended up on Maui.

Murder on Lanai

Last week there was a murder-suicide over on Lanai.  A man killed the wife who was divorcing him and then turned the gun on himself, leaving their 5 children orphaned.  It's a story I've read about all too often lately, over and over again.  I'll never understand what makes a person think it's okay to kill someone just because they dare to break off a relationship with them.  I'll never understand why they think it's okay to desert their children, to leave them to grow up with the knowledge of what one of their parents did, to leave them to always wonder why.

Violent crime is relatively rare in Hawaii.  We live in Paradise, after all.  Everything here is filled with "aloha."  Drivers are more polite.  People are friendly.  Things move at a slower pace.  I don't hear shouting from the streets every night like I did when I lived in Portland.  It's always sunny, always warm.  It's hard to imagine that in the midst of this, there was a family in turmoil.

They say that Maui is a small island - everybody knows everybody sooner or later.  I experienced this myself when my husband and I went to a bar this weekend and I ran into one of the approximately 5 people that I know on the island so far.  Lanai is even smaller.  So I wonder, did people know?  The other family members, the neighbors, teachers, friends?  Did they know that this family was in turmoil?  Or were there no warning signs that things were about to tragically explode?

Details in the Maui News were scant.  Neighbors said that the family was nice, that they knew of no problems, that they were shocked.  I wonder, how well do we know each other, even in a small community such as this?  How can you really ever know another person or what they are capable of?

Tragedy is, of course, sad, no matter who or when or where it strikes.  But it seems particularly sad in this beautiful place, especially when there was so much left behind.  I hope that someone good and kindhearted gets to keep those poor orphaned children.  I hope that they don't grow up haunted by this terrible act of violence.  And I hope that they can grow up still knowing love and aloha.

First Observations

I have to admit, moving to Hawaii hasn't been easy for me.  I think I'm a Portlander at heart, and leaving the city that I have loved so well for 10 years was hard.  Ultimately, I think that it was a good move.  It's only been two months, and we're both already doing much better both financially and professionally.

But Hawaii will never be Portland, and that is something that will take some getting used to.  By far, all of my favorite Hawaii moments to date have come from something out in nature.  This is an amusing irony.  As one of my friends put it (although she tried to take it back), it's "a shame" that moving to such an outdoorsy place was "wasted" on someone like me.

So I'm not known for my love of the outdoors.  But I'm digging them here.  Here are a few of my favorite places thus far:

1.  Iao Valley.  Cute parks, a river, a little waterfall, swimming pools, a fabulous view of the landscape below.  Absolutely stunning.  I love this place.

2.  Our favorite beach.  I have seen so many amazing things at this place.  Three weeks ago I watched tiny sand crabs get buried in their holes by waves, climb back out, and continue their searches for food.  Last week we found a blue lobster shell and a large light bulb with barnacles growing on it.  Today I saw a school of tiny fish jump from wave to wave, and we watched a sea turtle search the reef.  I am in love with this place as well.

3.  Mt. Haleakala.  Watching the sun set at 10,000 feet was an incredible feeling.

4.  Paia.  Adorable little town.  Cute shops and the loveliest little beaches I think I've ever seen.  We would like to live here.

The jury's still out as far as I'm concerned.  But this is where we are now, and I feel dedicated to learning to at least like it here.  I like to find these little things to love.  If I find enough, I think that a love for the whole island will begin to grow.

What's Wrong with the USL?

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a die-hard fan of my local football team, the Portland Timbers. However, I'm not so rabid a fan that I'm incapable of recognizing when my team plays poorly, when they make a mistake, or even when they commit my cardinal sin of football - diving (or other general poor sportsmanship).

So when I complain about how dreadful USL referees can be, don't think that it's just sour grapes. In fact, I feel that the quality of refereeing in the league has really gone up over the last couple of years. However, what I saw today was some of the worst officiating I've ever seen in my life.

It began when our coach was ejected from the game for kicking a garbage can (although one can imagine that he may also have had a few choice words to say, perhaps even about the referee's mother). Now, while I do understand that you can't have an out-of-control coach in the stadium, one would have thought that Mr. Wilkinson would have deserved a caution before being ejected. After all, he didn't hit anyone, or run out on the pitch, grab the ball, threaten anyone, etc.  But no, kick a garbage can, get thrown out, apparently.

We also saw our star forward ejected after a second yellow in as many minutes. The first was for fighting, and was likely well-deserved. But the second came on a hard challenge, one where Mr. Suzuki did get a foot on the ball.  A foul?  Yes.  A yellow card?  Doubtful. It's very likely the second yellow came only because there was a first one. Had this hard challenge occurred before the fight, I doubt the ref would have felt it warranted a card.  One could argue that Mr. Suzuki brought it on himself, and one might be right.

However, it was clear that the ref on the field was very quick to pull cards in this game.  I got the impression that he felt it was the only way to control the game. Rather than talking to players, out came the card, time and time again.  Unfortunately, his calls were quite inconsistent.  A hard challenge by Miami would receive the "play on" signal, whereas a hard challenge by the Timbers saw a yellow.  In the end, the two teams ended up with a similar foul count, but the Timbers saw far more cards flying in their direction.  And they often found themselves getting fouled without getting the calls.

Inconsistent is the nicest thing I can call today's officiating. Blatantly one-sided is a better description.  Timbers fans are known for "taking the piss" out of the refs, but the mood in the air was different today.  Questions about the quality of ref eyesight and hearing are frequent amongst the fans, as are calls for the ref to "get off his knees."  But it's been a rare day in the Park that I've heard the chant "How much have you paid the ref?"

It was disappointing. I also feel that it was a real backslide for the league. I'd actually managed to forget what it felt like to have these crap referees. But very quickly, those old feelings of frustration came rushing back in. Oh yeah, we played games like this for years.

As an aside, what's happened to USL players?  When did they turn into a bunch of pansies? It's really getting tiresome. I'm sick of seeing guys fall to the ground at the slightest touch, rolling around like they've just lost a limb.  Get up! It's a man's game! What's worse, the refs always seem to fall for this obvious play-acting. It's disgusting. This isn't Italian league soccer, guys, get up and play the damn game. I give props to Vancouver, one of the only other teams in the league that doesn't need to resort to such ridiculousness to win a game. You schooled us the other night; well played.

At any rate, you played well tonight, boys. You played your hearts out. You deserved to win, but that's just the way it goes sometimes.