Wednesday, December 19, 2012

AIIW: Holiday Edition


While I’m stuck on a surprisingly long wait list at the library for my next Oscar winner, Gone with the Wind (Seriously? I thought I was the only one who’d never seen this movie.), I’ve been watching more stuff on Netflix lately.

‘Tis the busy season at work, which means I’ve been spending my extended shifts entirely on my feet, running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I’m pretty brain dead these days. That means that I don’t have much energy or attention span, so my interest has turned to the truly important things in life, like watching cheesy Christmas movies. Here’s a recap of the 3 I recently watched:


Santa Claus: The Movie
Released 1985 (USA). Stars: Dudley Moore, John Lithgow, David Huddleston & Judy Cornwell. Director: Jeannot Szwarc.

The first half of the movie focuses on how Santa & Mrs. Claus (Huddleston & Cornwell) get the “job” of distributing toys to all the children of the world. The second half focuses on the conflict between Santa and his eager elf Patch (Moore), who has a lot of modern, innovative ideas, which Santa chooses to ignore. When Patch feels unappreciated, he runs away and naively joins forces with the evil toy-maker B.Z. (Lithgow), hoping to prove to Santa how useful he can be.

This is truly a kids’ movie. I know I saw it once when I was a child. It’s dopey and sappy, full of both plot holes, cheese whiz, and stuff that's not remotely believable. And yet, I find a certain charm in it. I think the movie is both slow & cumbersome in the first half, but I enjoy the second half when it focuses on Dudley Moore. I especially enjoyed the interaction between Moore & Lithgow, who play very well off of one another. Also, Lithgow is at his mustache-twirling, over-the-top best in this one.

If you have no tolerance for cheesy movies, I don’t recommend it (actually, I don’t recommend practically any Christmas movie then, haha), but I enjoyed it enough to give it 3 stars.


Holiday Engagement
Released 2011 (USA). Stars: Bonnie Somerville, Shelley Long, & Jordan Bridges. Director: Jim Fall.

Okay, you’ve certainly heard this one before. Hillary (Somerville) is constantly hounded by her mother (Long) about how she needs to finally settle down and marry the perfect man. So when her fiancé Jason (Chris McKenna) breaks up with her just days before they’re supposed to spend Thanksgiving weekend with her family, she hires actor David (Bridges) to play the role of Jason. Hilarity (not really) ensues. And of course, Hillary and David fall in love for reals.

Honestly, there’s no new ground covered here. You’ve heard it all before. It all wraps up in a nice tidy bow, way, way more nicely & quickly than things tend to work out in real life. However, sometimes I find that I really enjoy just sitting down & watching something that I know is going to turn out happily. The acting is pretty good in this one. Jordan Bridges is dang cute (yes, he’s one of the Bridges). Additionally, I admired the movie for trying to take on a more serious theme, about loving the one we deserve rather than loving the one we’re with, i.e. you don’t have to date a jerk just because he/she is “perfect” on paper.

On a side note, wouldn’t it be nice if there were more movies that had the message: “It’s totally fine if you never get married, as long as you’re happy”? I digress.

I’d say that this movie is pleasantly rote. It’s what I like to call “a light bit of confection.” I give it 3 stars.


Christmas Cupid
Released 2010 (USA). Stars: Christina Milian, Ashley Benson, Jackee Harry, & Chad Michael Murray. Director: Gil Junger.

Sloane Spencer (Milian) is a self-centered publicist bent on “trading up” on men until she can find the right one to further her career & life. Her current project is throwing the premiere party for her troubled celebrity Caitlin Quinn (Benson), thus earning herself the coveted VP position at her firm. However, when Caitlin dies in a drinking mishap, she returns to Sloane in the form of a ghost, charged with helping Sloane see the errors of her self-centered, man-eating ways. Jackee Harry plays Sloane’s mother & Chad Michael Murray plays an old love, “the one who got away.”

It’s “A Christmas Carol” meets a stupid romance movie, and it’s pretty awful. The story is a jumbled mess. Random, large amounts of time pass where Sloane apparently works really hard at her job, which we never see. Sloane is such a horrible person throughout 95% of movie that I found myself kind of hoping she would end up dying alone in the hospital after all. Her redemption in the last 5 minutes of the film wasn’t believable, nor was the Murray character’s forgiveness of her (seriously, what she did to him in this movie, no sane person would have forgiven her). Christina Milian was terrible. I’ve never seen her in anything else, so I don’t know if it was a typical performance. Chad Michael Murray looked like he was in physical pain throughout the whole movie.

At least Ashley Benson was delightful. I give this movie 2 stars (it wasn’t Metal Tornado levels of bad, after all).

No comments: