Final Reflections on May 2013

The theme for the month of May is resilience.

A few weeks ago, we were faced with a bit of a crisis at the husband’s house in another state (I refer to it as the husband’s house because he bought it before we met.). Initially, we were quoted a rather large price to fix the problem in question, a price that would have wiped out our savings.

Of course, this sent us into a panic. Just when things were finally beginning to go right, it seemed, something was falling apart. It was extremely frustrating. I spent a few hours feeling pretty crappy about it. And then something interesting happened. I realized that we would deal with it and that everything would be okay.

The quick recovery came as something of a shock to me. I’ve faced far less significant problems with far less aplomb. And that got me thinking about the nature of resilience. Why is it that, when the chips are really down, I can pull it together, but when I face a minor setback, I sometimes fall apart?

On the surface, it makes little sense. When I really thought about it, though, I started wondering if there isn’t some self-sabotage going on here. The big crisis happens and the adult in me takes over. The smaller crisis, however, becomes an excuse, an excuse to let the self-doubt and procrastination that characterized my youth come back to the fore. After all, it’s easier to sit back and not try than it is to try and fail.

It seems obvious that there’s a lesson to be learned here. Apart from death, no problem is insurmountable. The hitch, as always, resides within myself. You make it to a certain age, you start to think to yourself, “Okay, this is it. I’m old enough now. I got this.” Then something in life happens to remind you that you still have a lot to learn. No matter how old you get, there are always ways to improve yourself.

The upshot of the crisis is that it didn’t end up being nearly as expensive as we were originally quoted. A lot of our energy was expended in worry over nothing, essentially. But that’s all right. Somehow, the situation motivated me to start writing creatively again. So things worked out okay, and I think I learned some stuff in the process.

At least, I hope that I take this lesson to heart. The husband and I have plans: places we want to go, things we want to do. I don’t want to sit back any longer, waiting for life to happen. I want to make it happen. The only way to do that is to stop letting the small things get to me.

2013 is nearly half over now. As we approach the one-year anniversary of our move to Dallas, I continue to see improvements in our lives. I feel positive about the future. 

So that's what's been on my mind lately. If you're stopping by to read, why don't you tell me what's been on yours?