Family Pictures: Mom

Today is the second anniversary of my mother’s death. If you’re unfamiliar with the story behind her sudden passing, you can read more about it here, if you’re so inclined.

As I mentioned in the post linked above, Mom and I didn’t have the closest of the relationships once I reached adulthood. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t miss her. I think about her all the time.

I think about her every time I’m in the car. Mom had a liberal policy about using her brakes. She used them early and she used them often, haha. If she was in the car with me when I was driving, she would make this sharp gasping noise whenever I didn’t hit the brakes as early as she might have. I still imagine her making that noise every time I drive.

Roses make me think of her. So do lighthouses. So too do haunted hotels and other “weird facts” of Americana. Also, country music. I’m glad that I knew her well enough to know what she loved, so that these reminders are there all the time.

For this anniversary of her death, I decided to do a little photo journal of her early years:

I'm guessing she's maybe around 1 here at most.
At first I thought she was holding a stick of butter.
Then I realized that it's a Kodak film box.

 

The back says Mar. 12, 1953, 5 yrs. old

Mom (left) with her cousin Ruth Ann, in early
1959, so she was 11.

Her high school graduation photo. 1966.

Her wedding day in 1968. Someone in the family
made her dress, but I can no longer remember who.

Holding my brother Mike, with her dad and (I believe)
my paternal great-grandmother. 1969.

Finally, I love the picture below for two reasons: 1. Mom’s awesome plaid coat and 2. The fact that my “Uncle” Bill looks like Drew Carey. From left to right, this is who’s pictured: Great Aunt Vi (maternal grandma’s sister); Dad; Mom; “Aunt” Marlys (my mom had a thing with making us call her cousins “aunt” or “uncle”), Bill’s wife; “Uncle” Bill (Vi’s son, Mom’s cousin); and Grandpa F. (Mom’s dad), holding my oldest brother Mike. This pic is from 1970.

Seriously, doesn't it look like Drew Carey photobombed my
family photo?

I’m feeling pretty okay on this anniversary. After she died, I read this really great book that compared the pattern of grief to waves crashing on a shore, rather than to steps or stages. I’ve found this to be true to my experience. Sometimes the sadness is almost overwhelming. Last Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday) was difficult for me because it fell on what would have been her sixty-fifth birthday. Other times, most times, I feel completely fine. Ultimately, while I can say that there were bad times between us, there were good times too.

I'm glad that I have the good times to remember.